Keeping it Real: A Confession

We live in a time of knowing way too much about other people's lives.  That can put a lot of pressure on some to live up to what others are posting all over social media.  I think it's important to remember that people are posting the things they want you to see, not everything.  I heard a quote not too long ago that is so very true.  "Don't compare your 'behind-the-scenes' to other people's hi-light reel."

I'm guilty of plastering my "hi-light reel" all over social media.  Not because I want people to think my life is perfect or I'm doing everything right.  I post what I post because those are the moments that things are going smoothly and I can appreciate the moment and think to myself, "I want to remember this someday" or "I want my friends & family to see this." I don't post the frustrating, messy, or difficult times because I'm not thinking about my camera or my phone during those.  I'm just trying to survive, clean it up, or not lose my cool.  But I promise you, I have way more "behind-the-scenes" moments than the ones I post all over social media.

My life is just as messy as yours is.  I make mistakes every single day.  We all do.  I love my kids just as much as you do.  They push me to the point of frustration every single day, just like yours do.  I am not a perfect mom, but I have a perfect God.  That is my saving grace.  Grace.  Have you ever really thought about what that is?  I haven't until recently.

The dictionary definition is "a favor rendered by one who need not do so; a reprieve."  That's what Jesus gave every single one of us when He died on the cross.  He didn't need to do that for us.  But He did. Because of what Jesus gave me, a sinner, I will live in eternity with Him.  I haven't done anything to deserve that grace, He gave it freely.  That's how I make it through every day.  That's how I can deal with every frustrating moment and try to find the joy in it.

It's a daily decision, a daily communication and time spent with God, that I thank Him for His grace and ask that He fill me with His Holy Spirit so that my sinful nature can die to His love.  With God in me, I can be His love and extend His grace to everyone.  Giving grace means that we share His love.

Rules, laws, and commandments all serve a good purpose, but we can't follow them on our own.  We are bound to sin and make mistakes every single day.  How frustrating and belittling that can be to someone who is striving so diligently to do everything right!  It is so freeing when I came to the realization that God doesn't expect me to do everything right.  God wants me to love Him and believe in Him and give myself over to Him.  When I do that, all is well with my soul.

When I think about what I want for my kids I can get bogged down in all the little things like, I want them to be nice, I want them to be smart, I want them to be happy, the list goes on and on.  Then I have to sit back and think to myself, really and truly, the only way they can be fully any of those things is to love God with all their hearts, with all their minds, and with all their strength.  So, let's focus on that.  That's my goal for these very few first years I have them with me more than they're with anyone else.  I try to permeate everything we do with God and Jesus.  I try to spiritualize everything.  It may seem a little cooky to some, but hey! I've only got 5 years!

A good man produces good out of the good storeroom of his heart.  An evil man produces evil out of the evil storeroom, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.  Luke 6:45

For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.  Matthew 12:34

That's why I daily ask God to fill me with the Holy Spirit.  What's in my heart naturally is not "good."  Only God can give me that.  I want my heart overflowing out of my mouth goodness and grace, and I can only do that with God.

I find myself often saying things like, "Mommy was wrong, too when I yelled at you for pushing your sister.  We both made a bad decision.  That's why we need Jesus.  He forgives us and He lives in our hearts to help us show love and kindness."  I know they don't really get that now, but my prayer is that they will someday.  We all need a savior.  We all need help.  We can't do this alone.

Wow, seems like I really digressed from the start of this post.  My main point is that I don't do everything right, but I do love God, and He does do everything right.  I am not a super mom, but I serve a Super God!